7:56 A.M. - Wednesday, May. 07, 2008
Where to go from here
I have been thinking about my life over the last several days, instead of feeling my depiction was a series of unfortunate events I feel I experienced an incredible journey.

My thoughts drifted to this chain of events while contemplating what my life would have been like had I remained at the place I am now working at years ago. Instead, after 5 years with the company I packed kids and all and headed north. I would have been with my current employer for over 24 years. That would have been my forth or fifth attempt to establish roots. Prior to arriving in the sunny state, I had been in a management position for over 9 years, before that a place again in management for 5 years, both employers' different states.

Living in several states and even more towns, I have had the opportunity to meet extraordinary people that I may never have known had I not been born with a restless nature. Every move I made at that point in time I felt was best for all involved, I never woke up a day and thought let's hit the open road. Things happened that sparked the flight instinct and I reacted for various reasons.

Many happenings I felt was like bad Karma, a curse of sorts or my latest head game me being the reincarnation of Job, is absurd. I was talking to myself in frustration a few days ago and thought I just never get a break, there is a black cloud over me, a chain of negative thoughts I cannot get a handle on.

In my mind, I reanalyzed my life from a different angle and saw how many blessings and chances I was given to experience life's wonders, to feel emotion so raw that my skin tingles just to contemplate the opportunity

I have loved to the core of my being, suffered loss so devastating I felt the disconnection of my flesh from my spirit, which was the only way I could explain the absolute loss of emotion. I have felt the brush of death on my cheek more than once, encountered numerous angels on earth that altered turn of events. It is breathtaking to think about how my life has unfolded and knowing this journey is not over.

For every time I have been knocked to my knees I have cursed or blessed the one I call God, I feel this overwhelming understanding of unconditional love and while standing brushing the dust of life from my being I learn something new about life, about me.

Some people may think I have had a tough and tumble life just as I have considered but that is only looking from the perspective I was. From where I stand today, I feel I have experienced life to the fullest. For every inhale I have taken, I have a profound understanding of the miracle of exhaling that all of us at times take for granted until the day it stops.

Sandyz

previous - next