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6:32 P.M. - Sunday, Jul. 15, 2007 Later thoughts about him being right in the middle of my world raced through my mind. Hate seethed through me thinking about him mowing the lawn, sleeping, drinking, and smoking AGAIN while I was working. I fell asleep on the couch half watching some thing on TV. I woke up at 3 am and went to bed. This morning I was restless, loneliness can do that. I would have called my dad to see what they were up to but he already told me during the week they had family from out of town coming to visit and plans with them. I cleaned up the house then added some water to my little pool. I thought about going to the river for a while but didn't want to go alone. I listened to a meditation CD and floated around in the pool thinking about life. It dawned on me that this next chapter of my life has nothing to do with him. Why drag myself down with all he has done, is doing, and might do once he gets back. Who cares anyway? He has two options, one; stay, work, and pay for this place, two; sell enough of his things and move back to where he ran off to for a month. I don't have to think about what I want to do, I already made my decision. I am leaving for Florida once I have completed a series procedure on two of my teeth. I plan to visit once more with the Dr. What husband does is not my concern anymore. He cannot get to any of the money I have worked for while he enjoyed his month vacation. He will need to work or continue to sell his stuff to get cash. I have already found out where I can rent a little trailer to pull behind my Blazer and will have a hitch put on the back. Money saved, reservation made. All I am waiting for is the dentist to complete the bridge that has been on hold for almost a year. The rest of the teeth that need minor cosmetic work will wait until I get to Florida, find a good dental college, and finish there. I feel calmer now, not so concerned about all he has done�it does not matter anymore. It is no longer about him. Sandyz
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