6:24 P.M. - Saturday, Jul. 01, 2006
What a difference days make
Today was my first day off; I didn't sleep all day because I didn't get home at 7 this morning I got off at 7 pm last night. I spent a little of the morning on the computer, got some house work done and out to the porch I went. I have a small pool on the porch, big enough to fit a blow up raft in. Temps were in the high 90's so I got in and floated. When I close my eyes my mind can take me to the river, the cool lakes, or drifting down a winding stream just bobbing along the waters during a lazy summer day.

I hear the wind gently tousle the leaves on the trees, the hummers cries fighting over their feed, (they consume a gallon a feed a day we have so many) and I feel the warm summer sun filling me with many memories past and present of lazy days of summer. I love summer time.

I have had the most peaceful days at work from the time I made the decision to move off of night shift. No more needless harassment, no more having to prove my self, and no more beating my head against a brick wall because no matter how hard I tried nothing was going to change. I realized it was up to me to make the necessary change to find peace of mind.

From the time I started days I harbored some anger left over from night shift, today I let it go. I felt resentment knowing some of those that caused me grief are still employed and had wished they would be fired, today I let it go. Most of all I held on to anger about the stupidity of my boss's hateful actions, today I let it go. I had contemplated "getting back" by filling some sort of harassment charge, today I let it go.

This indeed is but another of life's lessons and I can accept this, what does it matter in the grand scheme of things what happened in the past; today is a new day. I took the steps to make things better for me and this is enough. My heart is lighter; stress is lying dormant for awhile. Although there is still much to deal with this too is just life and without the added friction more easy to come to terms with.

I think what I needed was just what I did today, a quiet day on the porch in a little pool that reminds me of a great love I have of the water. Silently reflecting the good things in life and listening to sounds of nature.

Letting go...

Sandyz

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