1:28 A.M. - Wednesday, Aug. 10, 2005
Pondering faith
While sitting here taking in the night sounds I got to thinking about faith. Where did it come from, why do I have it. I was not raised on top of a solid foundation of religion, although I knew about God and the some of the Bible teachings. I recall going to a little church during school, which was a time back when prayer wasn't banned; it was a part of our morning ritual.

I was backtracking trying to remember when the spiritual side of me was given birth. Not a hard line etched in stone belief, as I haven't that. When someone asked me what religion was I, for years I pondered the answer thinking I was some kind of freak because I have no solid roots in a customary religious conviction. I did not fit in the norm of churchgoers.

I believe it was some time in the late 70's when I started to search for the one belief that I could mold into my thinking. I went from Christian Science, Methodist, Baptist, on and on finding fragments of each that I felt connected. Still something in my heart did not always sit well with some of the teachings. It seemed there were too many unanswered questions and answers vague. I could not then and still to this day cannot envision one religion as being the only path to eternal life. This would leave hordes of people behind even when they had lived their entire life under an umbrella in their thinking of Gods love. If you take only one religion and believe it to be the only path to Heaven per say would that make all others just an illusion?

I found myself looking inward for answers about life after we pass on and found within the key to all I had searched. My quest connected with the feeling that each of us is on our own spiritual journey, none the exact path. What we each believe within our essence is the equipment we need to move through this life and beyond, regardless of faith or not.

My personal steadfast belief in a higher power that I choose to call God stems from the path I have walked and miracles I have witnessed along the way. (Just to mention two; my sister-in-law gone deaf before her first birthday has limited speech, she clearly spoke and talked to a friend of hers out of a terrible situation. I was there and heard every word. My sister in law has no memory of the conversation. The second, my children all three were witness to another "occurrence" each of them today remembers this. This happened during a drive and a story from the Bible I was telling them. I have many stories such as this that I will someday write down.)

Angels in many forms that have come into my life comforted or walked with me through life's tragedies are another testament for me. The stories I should write telling of so many Divine Interventions.

Questions I screamed to the heavens during tragic losses and the answers that were sent to my heart. Many I was able to find within the pages of the Bible, as I looked them up not believing what was being placed gently within my soul. Many times, throughout my life, when praying for a solution, a book, a letter, a phone call, e-mail, or a person will arrive at just the precise moment with answers to the very things I question.

During a time, I had given up on this life, as I was weary of existence I was given a shutter shot view of heaven. The memory now has dimmed but the experience was profound. I knew there was a life beyond this one, without question. I thank God I wrote about this occurrence as not to have completely lost the visual. The time I was given the view was a mere blink of an eye, but during this time the unfathomable love and peace that rippled through my soul was immeasurable.

A time when I felt the separation of my spirit from my life form during grief allowed me to witness the mortal part of me being nil without essence.

This brings me back to now as I continue to ponder the questions I have concerning where faith found a foothold.

I feel I have been sent angels, heavenly messages, and profound insight connecting us in human form to the hereafter. I honestly believe there is but one God, called by many names. I know within my heart that his son Jesus walked this earth in human form to understand the complexity of individual emotions. His life was taken as testament for undying love for all living essence. This is my belief. I know this is solely my take from the stones I have uncovered along my journey.

For me with out a doubt my body is a vessel for my soul. I have no fear of death as I have the perception this life is connected to the next. Faith is the path back to all those I have loved and lost in this existence, we will be reunited in some way.

The longer I walk upon mother earth I try not to ponder the why's I was given life and for what purpose. I try instead to learn from the treasured stones I uncover. Then sit back and ponder.

Sandyz

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