1:00 A.M. - Friday, Jul. 01, 2011
Empty hole in this house
Can�t sleep tonight, my heart and thoughts are with my tuxedo cat Zeke. He took a turn for the worst today and after a call to the vet, they returned my call and requested him back in the office. (ASAP) He was admitted just minutes after our arrival. I wanted so-so bad to stay with him. My heart pounded as I gave them his favorite food, treats, toys and his food dish. And after telling Zeke how much I loved him�I handed them my cat.

He is doing poorly but vet reassured me they would monitor him, do tests, give him fluids and stronger antibiotics. They don�t know yet was caused this backslide. They will call some time tomorrow to let me know prognosis.

My daughter called and I couldn�t stop crying�I was recalling how he laid on the floor and watched the little kitten race around and play�it was all toys Zeke loved to play with. I felt sad I got the kitten and it was racing all over the place while Zeke is sick. My heart was breaking�even though I do love my new kitty C.F. Simon; I felt Zeke might feel as if he was being replaced.

My mind often wanders when I am so upset. Got turned around on the way home, and took the scenic route�my thoughts were centered on how scared Zeke might be. My heart was breaking�I hate thinking of him all alone in a �scary� place. All he knows is right here close to me. I went to art class trying for a distraction, and it worked most the evening�I didn�t stay long I felt the need to get home. On the way it hit me Zeke would not be waiting for me to come through basement�or follow me until I sat some place so he could snuggle next to me.

Tomorrow morning he will not be sleeping at my feet, he will not move to the pillow next to mine and stare at me. He will not come to put his paws on my neck and rest his forehead on mine�he did that this morning.

All I can do is hope-pray-hope. He means so much to me and I hope he does not think I got Simon to replace him, I hate thinking he is in a strange place with needles and a tube in him. He is and always will be the tiny kitten that grew into my little wingless angel that has helped me through so many dark days. He was the inspiration for several cat stories�I am not ready to let him go. I need him to get well and come home.

My heart is heavy but I have not lost faith.

My sister is coming for a visit�I HAVE to clean up this house�I pray I get some good news tomorrow about Zeke�I am looking forward to spending some time with my sister. I pray a dark cloud will not be over this visit. I will try with all that is in me not to allow any negative events to interfere with this visit�we have planned this for so long.

Following a storm sometimes a rainbow appears. I am so glad my sister is coming, and I am filled with hope Zeke will be here to greet her.

Sandyz
My cat Zeke:

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