6:07 P.M. - Monday, May. 16, 2011
Not delusional
I am fully aware this new journey that I find myself on, and at this moment loving it, will not always be a walk through the meadow. I ask myself each morning if I feel better than the day before�as long as the answer is �yes,� I still have one foot in front of the other. I realize there will be mountains to climb, rivers to swim and possible back slides�I can accept this as long as I acknowledge it�s part of the process of letting go of the old self to enable the new me to create a new path through life. If I were to believe I could not be knocked off balance now and again I wouldn�t truly understand the significance of a 22 year relationship. Regardless of how unhealthy it was for longer than I was aware of. For now it is one day at a time or just one breath if need be�what ever it takes to embrace my new life and cling dearly to this new found freedom. While I was gone caring for the woman I call Mrs. J. I was able to take some quite moments and walk the dogs�I found comfort going through the woods� Ending up in an awesome meadow with a clear view of breathtaking mountains. The dogs, love these walks� as much as I. We go around the property then visit the pet cemetery. (Does any one have Stephen King racing through your head about now?)

I did miss my cats very much but we could easy go by each day and check on them, feed and give them extra love. Zeke, my youngest cat, the only boy, didn�t seem to mind being left alone�he was enjoying the new bedroom. Hum�did I wake you Zeke? A few more pictures of my newly decorated room�I still have more work to do but process is noted. I love it. I have been going to art class for months now and finally I completed something�my very first pastel. It isn�t all that good but I was able to start and finish with out ripping it to sheds and hating every moment. I plan to go back to oils but I had to stat and complete at least something. I was able to. Big smile. I have a long road in front of me however for the first time I feel a bit of excitement on this new adventure. One day at a time�or one breath, as long as I continue to move forward and look back only when necessary. Sandyz

 

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