7:17 P.M. - Tuesday, Nov. 02, 2010
A Mind Recorder Anyone???
Oh how I have wished for a mind recorder�I thought if I could invent one I would be one of the wealthiest people here and across the puddle. My mind runs nonstop and during my life time I feel certain there have been a volume of books I have mentally written. It would have caused pause for many people with some of the brainstorms I have encountered in my mind, always when it was an impossible feat to write them down. Or�I would just think myself into a state of tiredness that caused me to sleep and upon wakening the grand idea was hopelessly buried in a dream state.

As I mentioned my decision to try NaNoWriMo (National November Writing Month) I am attempting to write at least a 50,000 word novel through the month. (This will be try number three) I started 12 mid-night on the 1st without an out line, synopsis or any kind of solid idea of a plot, I just started writing.

My fingers poured out the words starting at a pivotal point in my life (something that happened close to the end of October) and just ran with it. The main character is a version of me (ego-ego-ego) but she in many ways is a fictional person.

I wanted to write about life, the battles we win, the ones we lose. Choices we make and why things that happen that we long to back up and have a do-over. Writing back wards to youth, merging the old me and the new me. (I know I am old�but constantly changing so I can be called new in the same breath.)

I am but one person but much of my life seems that I have lived as many people�unfortunately none of which has learned not to jump on the same sinking boat time and again.

Once I started writing I felt this excitement ripping through my essence, the words came like a catastrophic wave had washed over me. At times my hands feel shaky�so much of my inner self longs to break free and bring to life moments I have lived through. Thoughts that have haunted my mind for many decades�like a life long purging�I just can�t stop. As my breath goes out of control, heart beat racing and fingers dancing across the key board (thank you micro word for spell check) I feel alive.

I wasn�t successful with my first two tries writing a novel in a month�something tells me this time it will be a win-win. I am writing a novel that I always dreamed of writing, writing about things I have longed to express, telling a story of truth that only a few would believe, but most important writing is my life line out of this insane asylum that surrounds me.

As it has been written��The truth will set you free,� I add even if it is sprinkled with fiction.

It is I that will know the difference.

This entry was inspired by a dear writer friend Becka while reading her recent post.

The book idea was inspired my youngest daughter Nicky, whom at times is much wiser than her mom�and that makes me smile.

Sandyz

The story I am writing exists, written in absolutely perfect fashion, some place, in the air. All I must do is find it, and copy it.

~Jules Renard

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