6:02 P.M. - Saturday, Jan. 23, 2010
Right out of left field
I have written at least three entries�all of them sounded whinny, so I didn�t post them. In fact I deleted them. I am trying with all my might not to post, think, or write about things that fall under the half empty glass scenario.

What happened the first week into January was I got a call from the woman whose mother I care for, the one I refer to as Mrs. J. That is how we pay our rent and gives us a few extra bucks to pay other bills. This was BAD news�we shouldn�t feel it was bad at all for us because we were not the ones that fell from a wheel chair and broke our hip.

Yes�Mrs. J. took a tumble when her daughter was trying to get her into the house.

Wheel chairs have minds of their own and can be a bit unpredictable. She ended up being picked up by the paramedics, x-rayed, damn�a broken hip. Two days later she under went a hip replacement. She was moved from the hospital to a nursing home. Nothing can be done by one person so for now she needs constant care by a staff.

I had conflicting thoughts�of course my healing prayers are with Mrs. J. but panic filled my mind when I thought about how are we going to pay rent, bills�you know everyday stuff. More than half our income came from my little job�now what???

Happy New Year!

On the other hand it is Mrs. J. that is suffering, once again her life has changed. Last year she had lost her husband, her home, and was moved into her daughter and son-in-laws house. Life forever changed when the reversal of caregiver went from daughter to mother. I can�t imagine. This year she finds herself in a nursing home�how sad. I have gone to visit at least once a week. My first few visits she was unlike the woman I got to know and adore. She had flat given up�she was tired.

During my last two visit�s I could see an emotional improvement in Mrs. J. when finding out she might get to leave and go back to her daughters place. They don�t know when or how much longer she needs to have constant care of the nursing home, however�that light is beyond the tunnel. It was enough for Mrs. J. to see a ray of hope and once again feel like life was worth living.

Yes, we are behind on most of our bills and we are lucky when we have enough money for a few gallons of gas to get back and forth to appointments�and for me to spend a few hours each week with Mrs. J. During one of my not so good days I walked through the house and felt as if we had nothing�despair had sat in. I flopped on the couch and watched the news, it was those images, those images of the victims in Haiti. Those heart breaking photos reminded me how much we have, they are the ones that have nothing. So even as this year has not had a great start I know we will be just fine and life will go on�and a reminder that we have so much, so much more than others.

Sandyz

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