I have been in a dark place…it is a place we all visit unintentional or not. It’s the blot on our heart or mind that has a flashing sign, “do not enter” …that secret place we harbor some of our deepest sorrows, our endless regrets. Sometimes we find ourselves there when someone aims at the heart and makes a mark, other times a memory flashes…this time it was a visual that spiraled me into abyss. It doesn’t matter how we end up standing in the doorway what we must remember is never allow the opening to close. We must keep the light within sight to find our way out.

My visual could be compared to hearing that a loved one has moved from this world to the next…our minds can not acknowledge that…when we see the person the knowing replaces all doubt. When we hear of someone’s sickness often times it isn’t real until we gaze upon them and comprehend their disease has placed a root.

There is no explanation why the visual I witnessed haunted me as it did, why I couldn’t close my eyes to sleep and not see the image and often found myself walking the night. I didn’t nor do I feel the impulse to talk about it…no one should understand my reaction, and that is ok with me. It is a personal demon I live with…we all have them and deal in a private way.

I spent enough time in the darkness to come to terms with a part of life that doesn’t feel real…can’t be altered or unraveled…choices someone made that constantly makes ripples that effect us across the ever flowing seas of time.

During this phase I was reminded of something I read;

“The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep.”

~Henry Maudsley

Also deep within the pain I knew…

“The dark today leads into light tomorrow; There is no endless joy,…and no endless sorrow.”

~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Today I stand in the light.

Sandyz