10:27 A.M. - Friday, Sept. 26, 2008
Final chapter ends
All is fine here in the valley as I am witnessing a few trees give way to fall while displaying a hint of color. The limbs on the apple tree are heavy with this year�s fruit; they are tart bringing to mind Granny Smith�my favorite. I cut a few, fixed fried apples and it was wonderful tasting a slice of my childhood. Husband groaned�where were the meat and potatoes? I closed my eyes, this was my moment.

My Pa soul sister and I spent yesterday reenergizing thoughts of how to make a few dollars in a crafty sort of way. We took a walk down along her creek and looked around for inspiration. We have a few ideas, plans drawn up but most important we had a day of laughter. She and I both had several ideas but when together we ignite the spark and feel as if any thing is possible�I suppose it is. I love spending time at her place; we both have creative minds�sometimes a bit too creative when we start with A and end in Z, but as night fell we left her table overcrowded with artistic ideas that were born.

We got a bit lost�OK we were blasted lost driving from her rural place to mine but out here if you stay on the twisty winding up and down hilly road you end up �finding� a landmark and can regroup and regain direction�or you end up hopelessly lost along the ridge. It was a good day.

Husband and I are doing fine, he had work most of the month and we were able to pay the bills�that�s a start. Next month he has a job lined up that will keep him busy all month, I am grateful. We are beginning to toss a few new dream ideas around and I spend less time contemplating what might go wrong. I have more positive days than I had allowed myself in the past. I no longer look in every direction for an escape route and don�t wake up each day wondering where the heck I am.

What I am most proud of is completion of the rewrite of my manuscript. After a few days and at least 12 alternate endings I finally wrote one that sounded right. My problem was I was attempting to �end� it; but it is not the conclusion but a continuation of a long journey. For days I would open the script and just stare at it not believing I finished it. I have had this inner drive to write this story for 6-7-8 years�I can�t be sure. It was like an itch I couldn�t scratch just knowing my writing was incomplete words filling pages. And�now it is done.

I copied the manuscript and gave it to my friend/soul sister to edit and now I wait with anticipation while a fresh pair of eyes helps me find rhythm balance and one voice throughout the pages. I believe her job will be more difficult than mine�I wrote for years during many turbulent times, I wrote from past to present to present and future. It is a raw read and will need skill to soften the edges. But as I sit and write today I feel closure for the first time, a blazing desire to tell of a painful and spiritual journey to hell and back, the final chapter to this story finished�my version now rests throughout the pages.

What a beautiful feel of satisfaction to start something so difficult and complete it. Beginning to ending�my journey continues.

Sandyz

previous - next