My Pa soul sister and I spent yesterday reenergizing thoughts of how to make a few dollars in a crafty sort of way. We took a walk down along her creek and looked around for inspiration. We have a few ideas, plans drawn up but most important we had a day of laughter. She and I both had several ideas but when together we ignite the spark and feel as if any thing is possible…I suppose it is. I love spending time at her place; we both have creative minds…sometimes a bit too creative when we start with A and end in Z, but as night fell we left her table overcrowded with artistic ideas that were born.
We got a bit lost…OK we were blasted lost driving from her rural place to mine but out here if you stay on the twisty winding up and down hilly road you end up “finding” a landmark and can regroup and regain direction…or you end up hopelessly lost along the ridge. It was a good day.
Husband and I are doing fine, he had work most of the month and we were able to pay the bills…that’s a start. Next month he has a job lined up that will keep him busy all month, I am grateful. We are beginning to toss a few new dream ideas around and I spend less time contemplating what might go wrong. I have more positive days than I had allowed myself in the past. I no longer look in every direction for an escape route and don’t wake up each day wondering where the heck I am.
What I am most proud of is completion of the rewrite of my manuscript. After a few days and at least 12 alternate endings I finally wrote one that sounded right. My problem was I was attempting to “end” it; but it is not the conclusion but a continuation of a long journey. For days I would open the script and just stare at it not believing I finished it. I have had this inner drive to write this story for 6-7-8 years…I can’t be sure. It was like an itch I couldn’t scratch just knowing my writing was incomplete words filling pages. And…now it is done.
I copied the manuscript and gave it to my friend/soul sister to edit and now I wait with anticipation while a fresh pair of eyes helps me find rhythm balance and one voice throughout the pages. I believe her job will be more difficult than mine…I wrote for years during many turbulent times, I wrote from past to present to present and future. It is a raw read and will need skill to soften the edges. But as I sit and write today I feel closure for the first time, a blazing desire to tell of a painful and spiritual journey to hell and back, the final chapter to this story finished…my version now rests throughout the pages.
What a beautiful feel of satisfaction to start something so difficult and complete it. Beginning to ending…my journey continues.
Sandyz
