I have been in a bit of a fog last few weeks, days? Everything feels disconnected. How was it I lost 2 jobs in two states over back problems just to find out there isn’t much that can safely be done. This is insane. I can work but I can’t…I need to heal but it won’t.

Through this haze I am looking at options…I see a brick wall I need to get over.

Most of my life I have worked in physical jobs, food service, factories, training horses and the best…housekeeping. I have years of management skills but that was back in the 80’s early 90’s and most employers look at is what the heck have I been doing during…let us say…the last 10…15 years.

There are classes I could take but you know…the gas thing, the miles I would need to drive and the part about being broke doesn’t help the situation. I checked on computer classes, closest school that I could enroll in…35 miles, plus the money thing…or lack of it.

I have until January until the Dr will even consider releasing me back to the work force…oh darn right in time for deep winter blues. We live in a great place, beautiful to look at not so great once winter settles in.

I could continue to sit back and let husband support us both but I would feel very weird about that as I am not retirement age. I would feel like a slacker once I am able to return to work and chose to sit back and do nothing. If we were rich…well that would be an entirely different story. But…reality bites and I enjoy having money to buy things I like, go places and pick up little gifts for special occasions like you know…CHRISTMAS…birthdays.

For now I am in think mode…what to do, what I am capable of doing and praying for once that I might enjoy what ever work place I find myself back into.

Think darn it think…

Sandyz