All is going fine in the valley; husband is continuing to try and beat the smoke demon…he is doing well in the sense he hasn’t given up although he is still smoking. Not in the house, thank you.

I spent a day rearranging the living room and it feels cozy but entirely too small but for now I feel blessed we have a start. While speaking of starting over it is not easy, of course no one said it would be. I continue to wake up not being sure if I am north, south or in-between, looking out the window confirms I am north bound.

I don’t feel dreadful contemplating the change of seasons I roll with change. I adapt fairly well with the environment around me rather it is mountains, the ocean, rivers, ponds or like now down in the valley. I suppose it is much like my internal likes. I have no favorite color, no special foods, and where ever I wake up and find myself I just think…OK its nice here.

I was reading a book last evening and two of the characters were discussing the meaning of a wanderer. One told the other, to be a drifter is someone that looks beyond the horizon. I thought on this for awhile and I saw a pattern of my own while walking along the hard road…I keep looking beyond that turn in the road, over the next hill, across the valley. I love to see no end, look back and feel no beginning. For me this is an awesome point of view. My love of the ocean is like that…I can’t see across but in my mind I see myself sailing across the water and go where ever the wind takes me. Looking across the mountains I feel that same sense of longing to just keep walking and see all that unfolds with each step not knowing where I would end up. I love that sensation and have not a clue why.

I was deep in thought walking the road last afternoon and felt the urge to have a backpack across my shoulders and keep on going, destination unknown. I felt this would be the ultimate peace finder, no worries concerning day to day humdrum. Maybe weather elements…but not in my dream walk.

Wonder where I might end up if I did drift about, I question if there might be a place “out there” that felt like stable ground, a location I would look around, stake claim, and know that was the perfect place to call home.

Or…Maybe I am just a dreamer, one that dreams just beyond the horizon.

Sandyz