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10:44 A.M. - Wednesday, Aug. 27, 2008
Beyond the horizon
All is going fine in the valley; husband is continuing to try and beat the smoke demon�he is doing well in the sense he hasn�t given up although he is still smoking. Not in the house, thank you.

I spent a day rearranging the living room and it feels cozy but entirely too small but for now I feel blessed we have a start. While speaking of starting over it is not easy, of course no one said it would be. I continue to wake up not being sure if I am north, south or in-between, looking out the window confirms I am north bound.

I don�t feel dreadful contemplating the change of seasons I roll with change. I adapt fairly well with the environment around me rather it is mountains, the ocean, rivers, ponds or like now down in the valley. I suppose it is much like my internal likes. I have no favorite color, no special foods, and where ever I wake up and find myself I just think�OK its nice here.

I was reading a book last evening and two of the characters were discussing the meaning of a wanderer. One told the other, to be a drifter is someone that looks beyond the horizon. I thought on this for awhile and I saw a pattern of my own while walking along the hard road�I keep looking beyond that turn in the road, over the next hill, across the valley. I love to see no end, look back and feel no beginning. For me this is an awesome point of view. My love of the ocean is like that�I can�t see across but in my mind I see myself sailing across the water and go where ever the wind takes me. Looking across the mountains I feel that same sense of longing to just keep walking and see all that unfolds with each step not knowing where I would end up. I love that sensation and have not a clue why.

I was deep in thought walking the road last afternoon and felt the urge to have a backpack across my shoulders and keep on going, destination unknown. I felt this would be the ultimate peace finder, no worries concerning day to day humdrum. Maybe weather elements�but not in my dream walk.

Wonder where I might end up if I did drift about, I question if there might be a place �out there� that felt like stable ground, a location I would look around, stake claim, and know that was the perfect place to call home.

Or�Maybe I am just a dreamer, one that dreams just beyond the horizon.

Sandyz

 

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