11:02 P.M. - Monday, Aug. 18, 2008
Just a dream
Thoughts are wistful like clouds drifting across the mountains. I think about my life in Florida but those feelings are fuzzy nothing I can hold on to. I see pictures taken during the time I lived there although I can�t place me within them. I hear distant voices of my children and grandkids they echo through my mind and fade into nothingness. At times I feel the warm breeze and smell salt in the air from times I spent on the shore line but they are fleeting.

Memories of my time in Ark grow dim as the sun settles across the horizon when night sounds replace the day. It is a knowing but not knowing a feeling but not touching. A distance my mind can�t reach�a reflection I can�t visualize.

Maybe it�s a safe haven for the soul to move forward. Too many changes too much heartache. There are wonderful memories weaved through sorrow but impossible to sort through as reminiscences continue to elude me when they flow through my being.

I feel as if I am a boat without sail, a storm without rain, a moment without time, a dream without a dreamer.

I woke this morning my grandson a vision clear as crystal, I miss him. There are those that say find peace with those that gather; I think preach not until you walk in shoes of mine, my daughter, or those that final goodbyes are not possible. My anger does not reach to the heavens it is the shattered human heart I am in conflict with. Time heals nothing; layers of years only cover wounds that leave no visible scars. We carry with us for a life span�life�s losses, life trials, life�s tribulations. I suppose it is how we endure our burdens that matter when our cycle is over.

Today my heart pains�it�s recollections that haunt; ones that pierce the spirit when one is taken unexpectedly and lost to those that walk in this life.

Thoughts are scrambled past and present wavering�maybe this is just a dream

Sandyz
(In loving memory P.J; Forever/forever in our hearts3/25/87-8/22/96)

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