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8:51 A.M. - Tuesday, Nov. 20, 2007
Decisions-decisions
Tomorrow is my orientation at Disney, nervous and exited and I know this is normal for me. Again my life is right up in the air, seems in another life I was an astronaut. Good Lord I spend more time high in the sky than with my feet in the sand.

My friend was hoping I would land a higher paying job closer to this area; my blessing getting hired at Disney has a double edged blade. It takes time to get into the higher pay, time for me that feels worth it. Leasing this home has placed a dampener on staying here. Both husband and she was hoping to have a bit more rent, I am paying much below their mortgage not a good situation for long term. I have been hesitant to place pictures on the walls, add more 'things" and make this awesome place homey. My time here may be shortened.

Right now I am over an hour from here, traveling on a main artery through Orlando to get back and forth from my job. With high gas prices, toll roads, and low rent I am good to go, but reality is just that, I can not afford an increase at this time. No one is to blame, I received a blessing by landing this awesome place but with the mortgage more than double what I pay it would not be in the best interest for them to continue to allow me long term stay if they could get another tenant at a higher rate.

I would never be asked to move unless the place sold, but friendship is important to me, and costing people I care deeply about is not me either.

My friend told me to stop stressing; ok I can do that but only if in my heart I know I am again searching for more affordable rent. For now I am counting blessings and enjoying this awesome home. I know a day will come when I will be able to afford something like this; right now I need to live comfortably with out the stress of living beyond my means. Or worst case, damaging in any way a friendship I treasure.

I am under no pressure to leave but have again opened the paper to places for rent. I want a nice place, closer to work, and one that I can still hear the jingle of a few extra pennies to enjoy my new beginning. I still feel very blessed as wonderful things are happening, little steps that some day will become big leaps.

I have options and have contemplated them, getting a second job thus enabling me to remain here with the added income. Seeking a room mate but first I'd need to talk to my friend. It would take time to find someone I would feel comfortable to live with and a second income would mean again working nonstop. Decisions�

As of today I have yet to walk along the beach again I allow worry to consume me forgetting at times I am never alone. Today I have decided a trip to the ocean is much needed, a time to listen to the waves walk in the sand and with the temperatures in the low 80's it is the perfect day.

One day at a time I remind myself, one thankful breath, and faith, never lose faith.

Sandyz

 

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