11:23 A.M. - Thursday, Nov. 01, 2007
We can not go back
I'm adjusting, each day something new, something remembered from long ago when I lived in this state. My mind is in over drive, the distant past colliding with my new beginning, my recent past still lingering in the shadows. I can not pin point my feelings, they are everywhere scattered along the sands of time.

I went driving around a few days ago and found old places I use to race along during my early adult life, back before my children had grown and started families of their own, and before my young grand daughter was carrying new life within her. Time marched along not missing a beat even as my world crumbled.

Now my life has a new beginning the old is again merging with the present. Not my mountain life my life from long ago. They say we can't "go back" I don't feel as if I have, I think about this return as coming home after a long weary journey. One that gave me the opportunity to live a childhood dream for over 10 years then later kept me a prisoner bound in a one-sided love, a life I grew to despise but tolerated for reasons I don't understand.

I'm free now and have no clue where or how to test these wings.

One day at a time I suppose, one heartbeat...

Sandyz

previous - next