Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

8:36 A.M. - Tuesday, Sept. 25, 2007
Unobtainable mist
Counting today the auction will be held in five days, I have everything to say, nothing to voice. I feel as though my heart will burst, I feel nothing. I haven't a clue where my cats and I will go when we head south but I cling to the thoughts of going. I get phone calls from the north telling of how much heartache that man is causing, I can't "fix" him. Calls from the south have ceased there is nothing left to say this is a time of waiting.

The hummers have left, I was sad to no longer see them; I cleaned their feeders and set them aside for the sale. Another memory fades away.

I get phone calls from him he is running in circles, his hand unwilling or unable to release the bottle, this man was once my best friend, now I can't reach him through words, help him, or fix our world that is slipping away. I no longer look in his direction, my eyes gaze southward.

If a hundred people were standing beside me I will still feel aloneness only those of us that are earth bound can feel.

I woke up last night recalling a poem I wrote while still in school, I looked through my little hand written book of poetry and there it was.

"Loneliness

A tear for some one lost and remembered
A once known face flashes through your mind the hidden tear reveled
People around you stop, they stare
But�you are alone.

Written 1968 by me"

I don't recall why I wrote that snippet or many others I have found from long ago, I suppose maybe even knowing we are never truly alone, we often feel as if we are while living in the flesh.

I think some times when we cry out to the night it is not to bring someone running to our side, it is an awaking call to search inward, only there can we find our intended path in this life, find peace, and love. If we fail to feel love for ourselves, find peace within our hearts, all the love and beauty that surround us will be an unobtainable mist that we cannot take hold of, then we will see ourselves as totally alone.

Sandyz

 

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!