7:44 A.M. - Saturday, Aug. 04, 2007
Shut up and stop complaining
The last two day's I spent purging the shed, Lord was it hot and the shed was a disaster. So much of an array of papers that I have carried around from the time I moved from home. Scribble pads oh crap just stuff. I had two shoeboxes of pictures, one-labeled places I have been, the other animals I have loved. Both ended up in the burn pile. When would I have time to look at all those pictures and for what purpose? Could you imagine a time I would sit and start showing hundreds of pictures of all the animals I once had and places I have been over the years. My poor quest would want to race out the door, me too.

I went through all the photos taken while living here in the Ozarks, I packed them separate while sorting husband's family from mine. He wanted me to be sure he got the photos of him and his dead rattlesnake. I split some of the both of us, to be honest I had no idea I had taken so many pictures of our home so hundreds of photos went to the burn pile.

I went back to the shed and finished what husband had thought was finished. I sorted through his entire menagerie of working tools and laid them together on long tables. This will make the auctioneer's job much easier than wading through empty boxes and trash. I was amazed how much he had accumulated while living here, some items were still in boxes, and some repeat of what he had. I am guessing he couldn't find them.

I was covered in dirt that clung to me in this extreme heat but the shed looks like a working place now, no clutter, and all is in order. I felt sad.

Today I will start in the lean to, more things to organize and wipe the grime off.

It took four trips in the tractor bucket to the burn pile to rid of what I had tossed. Even husband said after coming to the shed (he had been sitting on the porch having a "few" beer's) that it looked like what a workshop should look like. I wonder if my sister was right�he just does not know how to organize his life. He thought the work was done but as I walked in I saw was junk, loose paper, broken stuff, trash, beer cans, left lying all over the place.

He told me he was not in a hurry we have plenty of time to do everything before they come to log and tag everything. My thinking�we do a little at a time and still have time to enjoy part of a day and rest when needed. We are so different.
I enjoy an organized place he is ok with clutter, (OK�my computer room just a few days ago was full of clutter,) but I always had an uneasy feeling while sitting here.

I recall calling my little world organized pandemonium, but what an awesome feeling knowing where my things are. I had been lying to myself.

I feel once I am on my own I will take more care in the order of my things, (once I get more things.)

I wish this sale was sooner husband complains constantly about the time it will take for him to have the money to leave for PA, he wants this over with�Lord me too. But through purging my entire past I have learned much about me and even more about my husband.

Most of the time I don't like him, his lust for life comes to the surface while his head is in the bottle, my love of life is when I step outside see, feel, and hear the sounds of nature.

Last night while resting on the porch husband asked me if I would like a glass of wine, I told him not tonight, I want to sit here and listen to the silence, (So shut up and stop your complaining.) I didn't say that but I smiled thinking about it.

Sandyz

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