10:03 P.M. - Sunday, May. 13, 2007
Missed Phone call
The phone ringing at 7am brought me out of a deep slumber to a world of the living. I could hear the answer machine pick up before I could stumble to the phone and as I picked up I heard, "PA collection" I hung up the phone.

My husband asked me who called I told him some collection place in PA. I stopped in mid sentence recalling the hazy words. I raced to the answer machine hit "play" and listened to the entire message. It was a collect call from my son, OMG I had hung up on him.

Communication between my son and I is complicated, I cannot call him and he has limited call time. Our long distance carrier would not allow collect calls to come through because I refused to pay an unreasonable upfront fee. Trying to cut back on expenses, I canceled our long distance calling plan not realizing this would reopen communication. Up to now, we have written back and forth.

In my daze I heard, "collections" when what was being asked was would I accept a "collect" call? I played the short message repeatedly; I sat drinking my coffee watching the phone. Please call back.

I took a walk around our house, tears came, and I couldn't stop them. Logic reminded me I could write and explain, he might try again, and this was not the end of the world.

I settled on the steps and the slide show from past to present I had made for "my space" played through my mind repeatedly; I could hear the music I had it set to it. Floodgates of memories came rushing through my mines eye. I realized through the tears this was not only about a missed phone call, it was emotions I had filed under do not disturb being released.

Tears for every mother that has loved and lost someone dear, for every mother I think I shed a tear.

Once I was able to calm my heart, I wrote my son a letter. I did not type it this time I hand wrote it with love. I sent prayers to all those I had thought about this mother's day through rivers of tears. Family, friends, and very special cyber friends that felt pains of sorrow, special prayers I sent to my daughters and my granddaughter for their sorrow is inconsolable at times.

My husband came through the door with yesterday's mail, in it a letter from my son. More tears fell as I opened it, after all, I got to talk with him on this mother's day, I felt blessed.

We had failed to pick up the mail yesterday this is something we do not do leave mail in our box over a mile down the road from here over night. I believe The Lord orchestrated this falling into place as it did, knowing it was today that I would need to "hear" my son's voice in written form. I believe in miracles no matter how they are delivered.

Happy Mothers Day.

Sandyz

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