8:22 A.M. - Sunday, Mar. 25, 2007
Gift of the Flowering Dogwoods

Today my grandson would be 20 years old; time did not stop as I felt it would almost 11 years ago. For our family and those that love him a moment in time does stand frozen, he will forever be nine years old. As his sister grows each year, pictures reflect her moving through the teens; mirrors show my reflection marching forward while he is still-framed his picture behind the glass in his baseball cap and shirt, forever nine.

In my heart, I feel him move with the times, I think about what he would be doing now 20 years old. I feel the loss and find myself in a swirling mist of what ifs.

I then picture I'm holding a beautiful white bird and set it free I learned years ago through times of sorrow search for blessings. Reminding ourselves we cannot alter the past gives us the strength to continue our journey.

After our loss, we planted two dog wood trees, one would flower white in memory of our grandson another pink for our granddaughter, PJ's sister.

We sold our little farm, moved to another mountainous state, and after much thought I reluctantly did not dig those trees up to replant here. Oh How I longed to bring them along. The first year those Dogwoods bloomed was the last spring we were at our farm it made it harder to leave them behind.

We arrived on this mountain in July and over the busy summer and our first winter I had forgot about the trees we left up north.

Our first spring here in mid March I stood at the window and saw a Dogwood tree in bloom at the edge of our field. I felt this was a blessing. Everyday I would notice another Dogwood spring to life across the mountain, pink ones and white. Last night as the sun was setting; I counted at least 20 Dogwoods now in full bloom across the field and covering the mountainside. It is beautiful, I feel blessed to have such a spectacular sight and wonderful memories replacing the tears of loss. Even for just a season.

It is times like this I smile and feel my grandson is close his wonderful memory in every white blossom and the pink blossoms a gift to his sister. What perfect timing to gaze upon this awesome sight.

Happy Birthday angel boy.

Sandyz

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