12:42 A.M. - Wednesday, Jan. 24, 2007
Let bygones be gone
After a few difficult days at work knowing someone in the shadows was doing a job I felt I was entitled to, all has calmed within my spirit. Odd but I no longer hunger for that job because I feel it�s their loss not mine.

I know myself better than most and realize I would have put much in to this project, my long hours at work would have continued to dominate my out side life. Although it was said the schedule would be 8 hour days 5-days a week I know I would have given all I had to prove I was able to handle the new position. Plus I would have hung onto other volunteer programs some requiring night work.

In some small way I am beginning to see this was not a good move for me with so many personal goals I have yet to meet. None have a thing to do with work.

I decided to remove myself from the volunteer part of the program, they will no longer get my time but I am handing over all information I have gathered that might help the new person learn about our audits. I plan to carry on with the Move Smart program as the company paid for my teachings to become an instructor. I feel I owe them that up until July of 2008 when my contract ends, I can decide then rather to pass the torch or continue.

I am no longer bitter and have shifted gears to my personal life, my goal of working on my manuscript is a reality now, painting the house, and just spending quality time at home sounds good.

I spent over five years of my life trying to take a step up the ladder of success at my work place and it doesn�t exist there, it�s right here at home.

As far as looking for a new job I am not dwelling on that for now, this year I look forward to three weeks vacation and no volunteer over time. This would be a first to work a schedule with out a second job or over time. Who knows the place might be tolerable taking my entitled time off.

We have two more scheduled weeks of mandatory over time and then I�ll see how life feels having time at home. I just bet it will be a good year. During my work hours instead of thinking about getting ahead I have been daydreaming about time off.

Life can be awesome even during disappointing times when you keep reaching through the glum until you find a new direction and realize the old one just might have been another rut.

Tonight I feel blessed, thankful, and happy, it's a good place to be.

Sandyz

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