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1:16 P.M. - Wednesday, Aug. 23, 2006
Life's Puzzle
One sentence in an e-mail spun my thoughts in a new direction and for a moment I felt something stir within me. Someone's life, their feelings of worth, had been questioned within their mind. This thought had been lingering for years and in a statement suppressed thoughts were reveled to me.

I knew why I was right where I am at this moment in time, I knew but couldn't react.

That night I couldn't sleep, everything I have felt for so long, prayed about, wanted to run from, formed a perfect puzzle. Every piece fit, every step understood.

I got up in the middle of the night and started to write about life, words came, feelings flowed. I wasn't sure if anything I was writing would make a difference but deep within I knew I must try.

I sat and reread the mail, was it right, would it help? I haven't a clue where the individual's faith laid or even if it existed. Still something prompted me to hit�send.

I felt strange, no anger from the past laid heavy on my heart, no wondering why I have been standing in the line of fire for so long. This hasn't been about me, it was someone that crossed my path and in a fragile moment a secret of ones self reveled, as the balance between life and death was questioned in ones mind.

What I have learned over the last few weeks trying to digest the turn of events is we are where we are suppose to be in this moment in time. Doors will open when our work is done and a new journey is set before us. All is in Divine order no matter how we perceive how terrible our day to day has felt. Life is not always about us, one person, one sentence and a fragile moment that holds a possible key to tip the scales to choose life not end it.

I pray I was successful although I realize it now lies in the hands of our Creator, and the one contemplating life.

I feel a freedom within my soul as if the spirit itself has been through a purging. No ping pong games within my mind of hate/love/forgiveness, I feel I have been set free of pain of the past. No more anger resides in my thoughts.

A new door opened a few days before I received the mail, I have ventured out into the world and joined a heath club. I started my first Yoga class yesterday and met several women close to my age, what an awesome feeling to connect with others that share my interests.

Home problems still linger, money woes haven't changed, but I have.

Thank God I have.

Sandyz

 

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