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5:15 A.M. - Thursday, Jul. 06, 2006 News we had been dreading from the time of her death, the investigation finally found the way from another part of the world to ours. She did not accidentally take her life nor was it intentionally with her own hand. Her life was ended by another, if hubby knows who he is keeping it to himself. His rage set fire to the first argument we have had in such a long time, during so many battles we have had over the 16 years of life together we shared a closeness that always formed beneath the sorrow. Faith has helped us through every hardship we have faced until this time. My faith is holding steady his is lost for now within the breath of booze and grief. For once I could not reach him. His plan is to go to his home state and seek revenge; he says he will not be back. I sit back this early morning knowing I have a 12 hour shift at work to get through and wonder why no tears are shed, why the words that cut deep within my heart last night are but dust beneath my feet. No emotion is seething through me, I am numb. I suppose I know I can not control another human's action nor can I break through a wall built by drinking ones self beyond reason. From his conversations on the phone last night I feel the wheels are already in motion for his departure, but will the morning sun cast a new light upon his darkness? For now I place the future within the winds of faith, I have no choice. Death of loved ones comes at times with a heavy price, a shift in the winds and time of great sorrow. For now I sit in the shadows and wait, not really knowing what the light of day will bring. Sandyz
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