10:39 A.M. - Saturday, Mar. 18, 2006
Nocturnal once more
I have stepped out of the sunlight and back to the night shift due to many changes going on at work and home. Part of me feels content with this change as I feel content when the night starts breathing. I am not much of a morning person and getting up at 4 am has been a struggle. Most of the time if I want to see 4 am it is to when I am already up not coming out of a sleep.

I find calm embraced in the night as the sounds of nocturnal creatures lull my mind into a creative mode. My thinking is sharper when writing after the sun sets and most the world around me fall into a slumber.

For over four years I fought within myself to long for the daylight hours but after the switch I found myself swallowed by too much action around me. Instead of enjoying the days I had off I slept them away, I found myself wandering around the house during the wee hours of the night wishing I could sleep. I would be enticed to writing on the computer knowing within a few hours I would be working a 12 to 16 hour shift.

So much has happened during the months I went from nightshift to days, I had the auto accident, we experienced a death in the family, our marriage became strained, and I fell victim to being a martyr.

Now I feel the need to reevaluate my journey and for me this is best done with as little chaos as possible, I feel the desire to be consumed in the night.

If I stay on the path I picked I will work close to normal night shift, if this is indeed possible when our shifts are all 12 hours. My schedule will be two on, two off, three on, and three off. If I can keep from being sucked back into extra overtime I will see ample daylight and find the best of both worlds.

I feel a comfort now working along side the bats, night owls and, the sounds only heard by those that become nocturnal, a quiet that help's soothe a troubled mind as a long ago lullaby helped comfort fear of the night. As I have grown older it is the songs through the night that bring comfort as I sit and type ponderings and distant dreams.

Sandyz

previous - next