4:52 A.M. - Wednesday, Dec. 07, 2005
What will the cat drag in?
I am back to work full time still those blasted headaches but feeling blessed to have been given the opportunity to continue to live. From outward appearance I look as though I was never in an accident, people are amazed I am walking around at all. Inward I feel strange and still disconnected. Conversation doesn't come easy so I am a fantastic listener. This is great for the employees on my shift as I am still very new to the day light people that haven't had the chance to fill me in on their lives.

The requests from my new boss have started, asking me about working over time, as I said I look "normal." The confusion in my mind intensifies midway through my shift so after 12 hours I again feel as the though I am something the cat has brought home.

I am hesitant about complaining about the intense pressure I feel in my head as the Dr. has told me this is a process of healing. Last week I quietly turned down his asking what day I would be coming in for over time, this week I may end up adding in the least an extra 8 hour shift. Many others are giving up off time to help out during this extremely busy time and I feel bad saying, "Sorry fellow workers you are on your own."

Last night when I walked through the door at 8 pm ate dinner and was in bed by 9:30. This morning I feel pretty good, hoping the headaches get further apart as my shift begins. The things I notice different about my being is I am quieter, enjoy alone time more, feel more distant, and I am tired. Time they the Dr's say it all takes time.

Tonight when I come through the door to my comfy little house I will avoid the mirror that hangs in the living room as I am not really interested in what the cat will drag in.

Sandyz

previous - next