2:29 A.M. - Thursday, Jul. 14, 2005
Maybe a diamond after all
I was off work today and had one of those days where you are not sure how to fill the void. I could write, clean house, the list endless.

What was it I wanted to do? I have not figured it out and the day has ended. I was not depressed, no black clouds lingering above my head. The day was partly sunny so it was not like a dark gloomy day. I was not even having an "out of sorts' day". Just a time that I felt a good book, blanket, and the couch sounded good. I have the book, "Extraordinary Relationships, A new way of thinking about human interactions", by Roberta M. Gilbert.

Even have the kitties to snuggle with me. I just could not sink my teeth in without my mind wondering aloof.

My mind was drifting to by daughter's new arrival and the coming days. Gosh, life would be much easier if distance was not so far from those I love. Although, I am here and by choice I might add. I was not forced to make this move to the mountains, we hubby and I agreed on the location.

I did write a little mini saga for one of my favorite sites as it feels like a challenge to write something motivated by an inspiration or thought. Keeps this busy mind focused for a short time.

I have set two positive goals and so far, I am doing mediocre fulfilling them. One of the goals is a passionate one I had planned to complete by fall of last year. This time I am serious about it and have already set it in motion, I know if I keep working on it, I will be completed by early signs of winter.

My other goal is a sleeper I woke up. Now I have some direction to follow.

I believe if I can keep my thoughts and daily routine in the now instead of flying all over the past and what might happen in the future I will be in much better spirits and able to accomplish good things over the coming months. Maybe have some fun along the way.

I will remember to give thanks and count blessing each day; I have much to be grateful for.

I added my thoughts to an interesting thread on a quit smoking site and received this answer from a internet friend of mine. "You rock and you've done an amazing job under, like you say, some pretty intense pressure (just remember that coal, under all that pressure, turns into a diamond - as difficult as it seems, there are gems yet to surface from these days...)"

I felt such peace reading this message, as I can understand the trials we endure throughout our life can be diamonds in the making.

I can learn from all things going on in my life and be a stronger person in spite of them.

Maybe I will become a diamond after all.

Sandyz

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