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5:13 P.M. - Wednesday, Jun. 22, 2005 I allowed my eyes to glide pass the guard without a face a top the stand. Odd I should write this but crawling back through memories I recall no features on the person far above us. My gaze rested along the wires that secured those that survived within. Following this interlocking maze of wire, I was frightened as well as fascinated by the unique design. Along the miles of rolled wire above the fence protruding around the spirals were blades of razor sharp. I was utterly fixated by this deadly design; thoughts hammering wishing for a closer view or even a touch. How maddening as I ponder my recollection of that time. As we exited the Blazer stated across the gravel towards the door I was unable to take my stare from this oddity above us. I recall wondering how anyone could come across that fence and not be skinned alive by mini blades placed strategically throughout the coiled wire. The only sounds I recall were the tiny rocks crunching under our shoes. My stare was redirected to a women leaning against a wall. One foot placed on the wall behind her, arms crossed while maneuvering a cigarette between her lips. She held no expression but followed our walk. I smiled faintly but got no emotion back. I felt victimized by this person, I had no idea was worker or visitor. How odd looking back that guilt can find a stronghold to those of us that walk out side the wall. I wasn't prepared for that moment and had wanted to disappear from the world. Still I heard the gravel crunch beneath our feet as we moved closer to a large metal door. The sign next to the door instructed each visitor to press the buzzer. From ghostly silence a deafening buzz, a click, and the releasing of many locks in unison. The heavy door opened as a world within the lockup breathed air. As instructed we stepped in as the door reversed direction and the fresh air of freedom was again shut off. The room was dimly lit, old paint pealed from the block walls. Straight back chairs that I recall from school days adorned the room. Instructions, rules, banners and posters filled the wall space in no apparent order, some so old they had yellowed and curled at the ends. Lockers lined one end of the room, a step beside them a man in uniform stood next to a steal framed door that all must pass through before leaving that room and moving closer to whom they came to visit. So many eyes captured mine the moment the sun was stolen from the room. Not one window, I recall this. A stern over powering voice brought my attention to my left. An unsmiling guard behind bars bellowed, "Inmates number?" I couldn't make eye contact as he never looked up from his work. Another guard with a half smile standing to our right asked if they scared us. Not sure how to react I said in truth, "yes." This time his smile brightened and assured us we were in no danger. For the first time that morning my heart beat without abnormal palpations. The reality of the situation was indeed going to be stressful; emotions were exploding from all directions. After several deeps breaths and knowing we could handle this, I gave the man his number. My heart was aching hearing out loud my flesh born was nameless and for now lost in a sea of numbers.
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