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9:22 A.M. - Wednesday, Mar. 09, 2005 My mind never settled on one thing in particular. It reminded me of a butterfly moving from flower to flower stopping for only a moment then moving on. So much is going on in my life I feel as if I am on a humongous wheel that is rotating in slow motion. It does not stop and I cannot get off. I watch this 3D picture show as an observer knowing all along that this is my life and those people around connect in one way or the other. I continue to feel this desire to reach out and grab someone but then stopping myself as not to bring another soul to this rotation of life that appears to belong to someone else. Maybe this is how I deal with the bad things when there is no direction to look and see a glimmer of hope. I know I can set my gaze to the heavens and peace will come, then my sights would again be watching my life and around and round I'd go. When and where it will stop nobody knows. I do not feel depressed per say, just lost in thought and wondering what now. Where do I step off this wheel and which direction do I start walking. Where will this take me? I have so many goals and things I would love to do. I have family and friends I would love to visit. I have a home that needs more attention than ever before. However, as I circle around this picture show of my life in motion I feel misplaced. I have not a clue where to begin again. I think I'll sit awhile and watch the sun rise and set. Maybe this is the down time for me to start collecting thoughts; this might be what I need during this time in my life. When it's time I'll be able to again focus on what lies right in front of me and I'll join steps with others around me. If allowing my mind to blow softly with the wind barely meandering across the sea of thought will help me take in just enough to keep me from slipping away, then it is all good. Time and faith held hand in hand is a wonderful healer. I will get there, it may take time but that is what I have right now. Time.
Sandyz
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