2:19 A.M. - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
A Rut
I have fallen into a rut. No, I stumbled in one. I woke up last night and felt the walls closing in on me. I looked up and could see the clear starry sky above me, and that was good. I think if I had felt the top closing in I might have panicked. Instead, I gave thought to what does this mean. A rut. That is all it is. I wake up in the afternoon and with coffee in hand; I come into my computer room. If I am working that night, I may have an hour to do a quick check to see who continues to e-mail me although I know I have to be in the Genesis world book of records being behind with answering e-mail.

I do a check of my on-line blog, see if any one has an up-date, I check the support groups for non-smokers and look to see if anyone is in trouble.

At 5pm, I watch the news. I hurry up and grab something quick to eat and rush around getting ready for work.

At 6pm, I make the drive to my job site. Twelve hours later I come home, do a few chores around the house; maybe even toss a few things in the washer. I do try my best to slide in a home Yoga session before or after I come in or out of the daytime coma.

Ok now I have a day off. I sleep. Hard as I try, I cannot keep my eyes open. Climbing up the age latter will slow you down. (It did me anyway) Now I really make an effort to take a walk, get out the yoga mat and call some family or friends.

I could make a list on one hand all the places I have been this summer if I remove duplicate places. I feel as if this rut is home to hermits.

I got some kick in the butt news that my transfer to day shift would be delayed for two weeks, (ha) some time in Jan, maybe.

After a few tears, I remembered I was still counting blessings. Ok,I am blessed to have a good paying job with great benefits. For now I am locked on night shift being the only female left on my shift. (It could be worst I could be the only female on that shift) Hum�

My hubby is going to have surgery on his shoulder soon so he has and will continue to be out of work for a while. This cancelled any thought of leaving the country. I mean the state to visit the family and friends. Would I really leave the country, I ask myself?

Ok�so I am in a rut. Not a pleasant one either.

Although, if I were to think about the good things going on in my life I remember how blessed I am to have family and friends that love and care about me. Oh yeah, my cats adore me.

Also, I love writing and this is National Novel Writing Month and I accepted the challenge. I am plodding along with my novel�6,560 words to date. That is not bad for a beginner that took three years to write a true inspirational story.

I am still thinking I can get 50,000 words by Novembers end. We will see. I'll not give up until the stroke of midnight Dec 1st.

I think I am going to climb out of this rut and walk along the sidelines for a while. Maybe I will go to Lost Valley tomorrow afternoon and hike.

Lost Valley seems rather fitting for the mindset I am in tonight, and yesterday. Heck, I have been in it for some time now. Might as well go visit this kindred spirit.

When I get home, I will get back to work on my novel.

You cannot really go wrong when you are doing something you feel such a passion for, even if it is from the bottom of a rut.

Sandyz

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