12:39 P.M. - Sunday, Sept. 26, 2004
Day Sleeper
I'm off today and feel like I'm carrying a sack of stones strapped round my back. Gravity is playing a game of tug-a-war with this body. I feel as if I am on the losing side of the battle. I'm tired that's the deal. I'm a night worker, putting in 12 hour shifts. I clock in at 7 pm then out at 7 am. It's been over three years that I have lived along side the bat community, day's are my night's nights the day.

This wouldn't be so bad if the rest of the world, at least the part I exist in, was nocturnal. But no, I am in this alone. On nights off I begin to feel this surge of energy around mid-night. I am in high gear by 2 am. I could stay up every night off untill dawn, then close my eyes and shut out the daylight.

I try my best on nights off to stay up all day and get things done but my mind feels like mush. If I stay up all day when I lay down to sleep I am sleep/thinking most the night. I know every thing the cats get into and how many fights they have. I hear it all. I hear those claws jumping on and off the table and kitchen counters. They think I am lost in dream land.

I don't like this kind of sleep. It's not the slumber you wake up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day kind of rest. It's the groggy did I sleep at all, achy kind of blah that I feel in the morning.

I tried my best this morning to get with the day time program. Took a shower, drank coffee, started laundry, cleaned the kitchen and even tried to brush the cat. He wants to sleep.

Now I am dragging around trying not to let myself be talked into "just a nap." I'll be asleep the rest of the day and tonight I'll be up all night.

There is no one I can call or go visit half way to dawn, not one person I'm close to feeds off the night.

There is so much that can be done around here; I might even wake up getting all involved in sorting pictures, writing letters, organizing shelves, cleaning closets, or just typing away on the computer.

I could do some stretches, that always gives a body the wake up.

But I am tired...that's the deal

I'm not as young as I used to be and I just worked 36 hours in three nights. This body doesn't want to do anything except rest.

I was told to listen to your body. Ok... I'll head out to the porch with a good book and take in some of our early falls welcomed sunshine.

Soon the porch will be covered with morning ice crystals and winters wind will howl across the mountains.

Sunshine will be good for me today. Besides everything that needs to be done will still be here come night. Sandyz

previous - next